I Won You
How to Intimidate Friends and Conquer Enemies
By Jimmy Slade
A combination of competitive biography and guide to athletic and psychological domination, Jimmy Slade’s latest literary feat, “I Won You,” offers the knowledge and intuition that can only be earned on the road to greatness.
1. Never relent, regardless of age.
—At the age of 37, Slade still found himself in the finals of the Pipe Masters, an event he’s won 7 times! Do you think he backs down to next-generation super talents like Carissa Morre? Heck No! Neither should you.
2. Never look away.
—Known for his green-eyed “thousand yard gaze,” Slade illustrates how to dominate opponents before they ever hit the water with one unblinking stare down.
3. Never pay.
—As Slade knows well, the first one to pay, is the first loser. Is there a bill coming your way? Duck. Do you owe money on a bet? Skip their calls. On a date? Stick her with the check.
4. Better look out, someone just might win You!
—Even though you’re accustomed to being on top, you want to win at everything, including love. And when you’re playing from your weak points, that’s when somebody is going to try to win You!
5. If somebody does win You, you better win them back.
—Let’s face it, people are human. Not everybody can win fair and square all of the time. This is when you go super-human and use telekinesis, telepathy and regular lies.
6. Once you succeed . . . re-succeed.
—Even though you won once, that’s not enough. Win again. 9 Times.
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